“One of the most important things to know about the impact of abuse is that these mood swings and dysfunctions are a natural and normal way of dealing with trauma. Unfortunately, many people look at these symptoms and think that the problem lies with the victim, when in fact these responses to trauma are perfectly normal (p. 71).” Justin and Lindsey Holcomb in Is It My Fault?
Brad Hambrick is quickly becoming one of my favorite writers on this topic. I love his ability to capture what is truly happening and distill what these effects really are.
This post speaks to physical and emotional pain (physical is not the most devastating), relational and spiritual confusion, and a distorted self-image.
Regarding relational confusion Brad writes:
Imagine playing a sport where you were forced to play by the rules and your opponent was not. Now imagine that rules that you were forced to play by were frequently subject to change and came with stiff penalties. That is life in an abusive relationship. It is confusing, because it is both unfair and ever-changing.
See? He gets it.